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Dating Tips & Advice

Guide to Flirting & Dating

Successful Internet Dating in Australia
Online Dating is on the rise.

Here's the five basic steps to successful online dating:

Choose a Reputable Dating Site

Specify What You Want

Setup Your Amazing Profile

Using the Dating Site Features

Take Your Time To Get To Know

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1) Choose a Reputable Dating Site

This is the most important step and you need to pick a good dating site to get going. Unfortunately not all internet dating sites do the right thing, and if you do choose the wrong one you're likely to waste both your time and money. You could also walk away from online dating thinking every site is a con. This simply is not true and there a several reputable sites out there.

Browse each online dating site very carefully. Read the members comments and look in any “feedback” areas and read the “Terms and Conditions”. Be suspicious of any sites who state that some profiles may be for marketing purposes only.
Once you have decided on a site, sign up as a trial member. Browse the member profiles on the site and read each profile. Look at what they are looking for in their dating partner and see if you are compatible. Some online dating sites will allow you to browse profiles without registering first. You can use this opportunity to browse the dating profiles and assess whether that online dating site is your kind of place to hang around.

Remember that if it sounds to good to be true it probably isn’t. Some sites try to trick people into paying for full memberships by sending messages from their “Marketing Profiles” to new members. Once the member has joined up the marketing profile disappears. If you get an unsolicited message from a super model who claims to live next door, you may be very lucky. You may also be being conned.

Not all Dating Sites  are the equal. Some are fancy. Some are quality. Some are cheap. Some are free. Some are completely deceptive and  make you think they much larger than they really are. Think before you pay for anything and check out the options before you commit.

Tips for selecting a good dating site:
Don't be fooled by sites that say "Member Listings"

If you see the term "Member Listings" on a dating site with a large number in front of it, beware! It does not necessarily mean they have that many members.

If a site displays "1,042,252 Member Listings" they probably don't actually have that many physical members. They could have 1 member that has a million listings. "Member Listings" can be things like photos, interests, messages, notices, etc. You will obviously do poorly on these sites. Some sites operators do this to make themselves seem larger than they really are, Don't be conned into signing up.
Do look for sites that say "Members"

Look for sites that say "Members" not "Member Listings" this is the number of actual people who have registered on that dating site. Not the number people multiplied by their interests, photos, messages, etc.
Don't get conned by "Online Now"

"Online Now"
is generally displayed on the top right hand corner of most dating sites. One would think that "Online Now" represents the number of actual people you can meet right now. This is correct on most of the reputable dating sites but unfortunately not all sites play fair and they will do anything to con you into signing up.

We found one site in particular that regularly displays "7,000  to 10,000 Online Now" in Australia most of the time. This includes 2am on a Wednesday morning. This which seem pretty unlikely considering most have to work in the morning.

Often if you click on their "Online Now"  link, they do not show you a breakdown of their "Online Now" figures and how they are made up. Rather a registration page which requires you to join before receiving any explanation at all. Don't go any further!

Often their explanation for calculating the number of people "Online Now" includes a rather large of people who are not visible, not logged and cannot be contacted. "Online Now" in the context of dating site should mean people you can meet right now.

We can only guess they do this to give the impression there is a lot more activity on the site than there really is, This is another way they try to con you into getting you to sign up.

Do think about the Maths

Larger web sites in Australia have around "4,000 Members Online"
he larger and well established sites in Australia have up to 4,000 members online during their peak times This is between 8 and 11pm each night. To put the false and misleading "7,000 to 10,000 Online Now" figure into some sort perspective. The largest dating web site in world, (Source: Guinness Book of Records) has approximately "15,000-20,000 Online Now" at given time. Given that Australia is about 2% of the worlds entire internet traffic, the maths just don't add up.

Don't get conned by False Messages

Beware of messages from beautiful Women, Couples and Men!
If you submit your profile to a dating site and all of a sudden you start receiving messages from people that seem too good to be true, beware! Be especially cautious if you have not paid for a subscription to that dating site.

Some unsavoury dating site operators may create fake profiles of women, couples and men on their own web sites. These fake profiles then send messages, kisses or winks to your profile. Here's the catch, for you to send a reply message you have to pay for a subscription.

Once you have paid for your subscription and try to contact these people you will never hear from them again.

The Dating Guide has conducted some testing on this matter.
We tested most of the dating sites in Australia is by submitting several male profiles to the same site. The profiles we created for each site where extremely diverse, some of them were filled out meticulously while others had silly things in them like; "I have 2 heads and 6 arms and a ear on my forehead".

We then waited to see if we received any messages...

On some of the sites we tested all of the profiles including the silly ones received exactly the same message from exactly the same women stating; "she would like to hookup sometime". The woman's profile was unbelievable, she was perfect in every respect including pictures of herself in lingerie. When we had paid for a subscription she disappeared and did not return any of our messages again.
On a positive note there are all sorts of people on the more reputable sites including some very attractive, women, men & couples. Its more than likely however that you will have contact those people yourself. It's unlikely they will just contact you out the blue! Getting results on dating sites is like anything else in life, you have to work at it and put some time and effort in to get results.

Do look at Reputation, Reputation, Reputation!
It's not all bad news. The larger and more well established dating sites definitely do the right thing and there are many many testimonials and success stories available on the internet and from the sites themselves.

Australians are early adopters of technology and have 2 well established dating sites in RSVP and Adult Match Maker. Both of these have been running for over 5 years. Both of these also have a reputation for providing good results and easily boast the largest member bases in Australia.

Below are sites the Dating Guide recommend. Use other sites at your own risk!

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2) Specify What You Want

Decide what kind of dating or relationship you want to have. Specify clearly in your profile exactly what your looking for.

Is it marriage, a long-term relationship, short-term casual dating, or even intimate encounters for very short-times.

This helps you identify what you are looking for and lets other people know what you are looking for as well.

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3) Setup Your Amazing Profile

The profile needs to be informative and appealing, yet stand out from the crowd in some way. In fact, it should reflect the true you as much as possible. Now, there are some do's and don'ts where online dating profiles are concerned, so let's look at those more closely.

  1. Pictures - It's critical to put up at least one picture of yourself in an online dating profile. With a picture in place - even a bad picture - you're profile will get viewed ten times more than a profile without one.
  2. Your first name - Using an online "handle" or nickname is ok, but you should reveal your first name in your profile. This makes you appear much more honest and open. Without a name, people may be inclined to believe you're an imposter, or that you're trying to hide something.
  3. Just your first name - Do not reveal your full name in an online dating profile. You never know who might come across it, and what kind of person they might be. So always use caution with how much personal information you reveal online.
  4. Write a bit about yourself - Don't write your life's story. This part can be as long or as short as you'd like, but it's best to summarize in just a paragraph or two. Stay upbeat here, don't complain about failed relationships and a cheating ex.

    Again, don't reveal anything overly personal when putting information about yourself in your online dating profile. It's fine to explain what profession you're in for instance, but don't specify exactly where you work or who you work for. Likewise there's no problem stating the area you live in, but don't include your home address and phone number.
  5. What are you looking for? - This part is for you to explain why you're creating this online dating profile to begin with. Do you want friends? Frequent dates? A romantic relationship? A life partner? Summarize those desires here, without going into intimate details. You want to make sure you've left things to talk about with men or women when they contact you.
  6. What are your likes and dislikes? - Now this part can be used to explain things you like or don't like in a mate or friend, or it can be used for general likes and dislikes in life. Don't make a long list of every single thing you can think of here, just put the top 5 or 10 as a starting place.

Remember: Your online dating profile is designed to generate interest from the type of men or women you're looking for. Keep it upbeat and positive. When done well, an online dating profile can generate lots of interested prospects, while leaving you plenty left to talk about and learn about each other too.

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4) Using the Dating Site Features

Depending on whether each dating site charges per month or whether they are free, the features they offer as part of their program will also differ.

Most dating sites will allow you to post your profile for free. When you browse their existing profiles and you find a person you might like to contact, most sites will not let you contact them unless you pay.

Contacting the interested person maybe either via a “wink” or an “Instant Messenger” or internal email via the site. Each of these features will be useful in their own right.

A quick and easy method to show your interest to the person you are interested is to send a “wink”‘. This way you don’t have to come up with your own ‘chat up line’ or other creative ways of getting their attention. The dating site will have predefined ‘winks’ setup so you just select one wink you like and then ‘voila!” your desired person will have got your ‘wink’. If they are interested they can "wink" or message you back.

Sometimes it is better to Instant Message a person. If you find that person rarely comes “online” you can watch for them and just say "Hi" .

An internal email message to the interested party is best. You can describe yourself better and plant a better ‘first impression’. “Instant Messages”invitations may be rejected as they don’t know much about you.

If the online dating site you signed up has chat rooms, you can say "Hi" in the chat room and then take the conversation to a private ‘whisper’ mode for more privacy to converse.

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5) Take Your Time To Get To Know

Some people who start on dating online rush into relationships that they later regret. It is critical that you get to know the other person very well before arranging a face to face meeting..

There are several reasons for this. Firstly, your only interaction with this person has been electronically.. Sometimes you may have taken the conversation to a phone conversation by exchanging numbers or calling that person. On these mediums the other person can easily create quite a ‘make believe’ scenario and in the ‘heat of the moment’ you might be blind to the reality's.

It is very important to get to know them from all angles before committing to meet them in person. One of the best ways is to ask questions. Especially open ended questions. Whatever you do, do not assume anything about the other person. This is not fair on either of you. Either because you are not telling yourself the truth, and not fair on the other person as you may be misjudging them.

When you are ready to meet, choose a place to meet which you feel comfortable with. Be yourself, and enjoy the dating process. Best of all, have fun getting to know the other person. If it is not fun then it is not worth your time.

Good Luck!

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